I came across Beverly Busson’s saying “Life is not a dress rehearsal” recently in the Canada 150 Women book. It’s a good concise reminder that THIS is life. We only get one shot at this life and we’re choosing the way we live it every day.

We can rush through every day feeling stressed and frazzled. Or we can choose to deliberately connect with others with kindness and care and take action to create the life we want to live.

I must be in this zone at the moment my last blog post was: Build a Life. Don’t Just Live One.

In reflecting on the way I want to live my life, I have identified four key principles to help me make sure I’m living every day to the fullest and not just going through life like it is a dress rehearsal. Here are four tips that help me to seize the day and make sure I am not approaching my life like it is a dress rehearsal:

1. Be Present
2. Listen
3. Act
4. Be care-full

Be Present

A lot of the focus of mindfulness is reminding us to Be Present. The best technique I have found is to make eye contact with people you are meeting and talking with.

Let me say this again: make eye contact.

Eye contact tells me you are actively listening to me or actively trying to communicate with me. It also means you are not distracted by other things going on. Culturally, for me, eye contact is seen as respectful, so I’m definitely not recommending this technique in cultures where it may be considered disrespectful.

Making eye contact is especially important in a digital world. You’re reading this article on a digital device. If you’re like me, you’re on your phone, laptop, tablet for much of your working day, and it’s probably there during your non-working hours as well.  So be present and communicate that presence to others – focus on connecting with the people you’re with so that they know you’re fully present.

Being Present at Work

When I’m in a meeting, I use a paper notebook and pen instead of a laptop for taking notes. I put my phone to the side, face-down and I have it in silent mode. During the meeting, I try to resist the temptation to look at it. It’s hard because I’m addicted to the instant access to information and updates and it doesn’t help that designers design to make their apps more and more addictive (see Social Media apps are ‘deliberately’ addictive to users).

For virtual meetings, it’s easier to be present if you turn on the video. When you turn on video, you’re more accountable to the other participants. They can see whether or not you’re paying attention. Technology still has a ways to go to allow me to make eye contact with people on video and for them to feel like I am fully present with them. But to keep me accountable to be present with others, I find video calls are better than audio conference calls.

Listen

I’m an introvert and I love to listen. I love to hear other people’s ideas and thought processes. But it amazes me how many people are so busy thinking about what they want to say or how they can ​sound smart that they fail to listen.

Listening is how you get smarter – ​by listening you are able to learn from others in the room. It’s where you gain a deeper understanding of what is going on for others and it often can make you more reflective of things that you are working on as well. Listening is an extremely important part of success.

Listening doesn’t mean you don’t talk. You can use active listening techniques to echo back what you’re hearing. And you can build on what others are saying. But listening does mean that your words are informed by the discussion that is going on.

I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying we have two ears and one mouth for a reason, and this is just one more reminder to listen.

Act

Take action. Act. This is one that is more challenging for me. I’m good at listening. I can also be good at taking action once I’ve determined the course of action to take. But I’ve noticed others on my team who have an “activator” strength will move to act much more quickly than I do.

Sometimes moving to action quicker is better. Sometimes taking more time to figure out what to do, however, has advantages. In the end though, actions speak louder than words.

I was listening to a motivational speaker the other day and he was talking about “how do you know that someone’s commitment is serious?” For instance, you want to lose weight, workout regularly, eat healthier, spend more time with family, or make yourself your number one priority: how can you tell that the commitment is serious?

When you act.

So take action.  Demonstrate your commitment to yourself and others to make positive changes in your life.

Be Care-Full

This last tip may not be for everyone, but the person I want to be is care-full. (And nope, I didn’t forget to use spell check.) By care-full, I mean full of care.

Full of care. 

What I mean by this is that we need to be full of care in how we interact with others.  We need to take an extra moment to think about how we can speak in a kinder tone, be a little more care-full with how we make others feel, and make sure other people feel just a little more special when we interact with them.

Being kind to people is very important. It’s easy to jump to criticisms. It’s easy to point out shortcomings. But I can’t overstate how important being kind is.

Kindness can come in many forms: a simple smile as you walk past someone, holding the door or elevator a bit longer for the person coming behind you, or leaving a note for a loved one to brighten up their day.

Speaking from experience, when I was really struggling and feeling down, kindness was what I appreciated most. Acts of kindness are what were most meaningful to me. And when I was at one of my lowest points, these acts really reinforced the importance of kindness.

For example, I really appreciated when my very busy colleagues would take out of their day to text me and see how I was doing. I had one colleague I hadn’t connected with in quite a while, and when we talked I shared what I was going through. The next day a lovely bouquet of flowers arrived at my home. Totally unexpected, and just a really lovely gesture – it meant a lot more to me than flowers I’ve received at other times in my life.

Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal

1. Be Present.
2. Listen.
3. Act.
4. Be Full of Care.

These four tips will help you live your life and make sure your life is not a dress rehearsal.  When you think about living your life like it’s not a dress rehearsal, what does it make you want to do? What are your tips for seizing the day?

Please comment below. We’d love to hear from you.

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