Have you ever thought about whether you open or close gates for other people?

I’m sure many of you have heard the term ‘gatekeeper.’  Gatekeepers are people who restrict access to something or someone.  Their job is to: Keep. People. Out.

So are you a gatekeeper?  Are you closing gates for others either deliberately or inadvertently?  OR   Are you opening them up?

There are many different ways people can be gatekeepers.  Sometimes people have jobs where they are paid to keep people in or out – think border control guards or prison guards.  In other cases, people can exercise discretion through their jobs that can either open or close gates for others – police, crown prosecutors. people on hiring panels for a job, or even a coach of a sports team.  Considering how you might be opening or closing gates for others in all aspects of your life is important.

In this article, however, I want to focus on whether you’re opening or closing gates for others in your personal life.

Goals, Chin-ups and Curling…Oh My!

In January, we had a conversation as a family to set a goal for the year.  We each picked at least one goal that we wanted to accomplish.

My son got excited and set two big goals for the year.  His first goal was to finish 100 chin-ups in 30 days and his second goal was to join a curling team. He finished the 100 chin-ups in three days (he blew that goal out of the water).  So he was left with his second goal of joining a curling team.

In some ways, this goal kinda came out of left field.  No one in our family has ever curled.  And we didn’t even know where to start (aside from google) to find a local curling team.  But after a little reflection, I remembered that a couple months prior I had asked my son what his favourite sport was.  I assumed his answer would have been one of the many sports he regularly participates in – basketball, baseball, biking, motorcycling – but instead he said: “curling.”

“Have you ever curled?”  I asked.

“Nope, but it’s my favourite sport,”  he said.

“Well, it is a bit like chess on ice,” I said.

“Exactly,” he replied.

So in a separate conversation, I told Robby, my husband: “we absolutely have to get him onto a team – it’s his goal this year!”

“Okay,” he replied, “I will get him onto a team.”

A Real Life Gate Opener

So Robby found the closest curling club.  He quickly figured out that there were a limited number of spots, which were given out in the following priority:

1. players who played last year;
2. children of current members of the curling club;
3. children whose parents volunteered to help coach; and
4. all other children.

On registration day, Robby got up early and sent in the registration indicating that he would volunteer to coach since our son was not in the first two categories.  Robby indicated that although he had never curled, he had experience coaching golf and baseball so could contribute that knowledge to coaching curling.  Soon after, the head curling coach contacted Robby to talk to him about his ability to coach.

After the conversation, Robby told me: “The head curling coach is really nice.  He wanted to check if I would be able to coach and told me that it is really important that I don’t fall onto the kids.”  (Hee hee hee)  Robby assured him that he wouldn’t fall onto the kids and the rest is history.  Our son is now on a curling team!

I share this example because Robby went out of his way to open gates for our son.  He even volunteered to coach a sport he has never played in order to give our son the best chance of making the team.

Many times, we’re faced with opportunities to encourage, cheer on, and actively contribute to creating opportunities to help other people achieve their goals.  But so often, a person’s first reaction is to discourage others, to tell them why their goals or dreams won’t work, and even, at times, place obstacles in their way to achieve their goals or make their dreams a reality.

We have the ability to make a positive impact in people’s live around us by considering how we can help them achieve their goals, to open gates for them, and to help them learn about what it is to work hard for something and achieve it.  Along the way, everyone experiences failure and, at those moments, again, we are given the opportunity to open gates for other people by lifting them back up and encouraging them to persist.

If you’re a parent, you may thinking: “yes! I am going to work on opening gates for my child!”  And this is great!  I also encourage you, however, to think about how you can open gates for adults in your life as well.  Everyone needs encouragement and support when they are trying to make a big change in their lives or on their path to achieving a big goal – kids and adults alike!

So think about whether you open or close gates for other people in your life.  And consider deliberately trying to open gates for others rather than close them.  You just might make an immeasurable impact on someone else’s life.

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