On the Importance of Prioritizing Daily Connection

During that time, my husband and I were really focused on cutting our household costs.  We were overspending on monthly expenses compared with our income and so we actively started looking for ways to spend less money.

We switched insurance providers, cancelled our TV subscription, and looked at all of our monthly bills to see where we could trim.  I brought my lunch everyday and decided not to buy any coffee out (we do have an amazing espresso machine that I use to make an amazing matcha latte at home after all!)

These measures are some of the many that experts recommend to cut costs and increase savings. And the good news is that my husband and I are disciplined enough to pull it off!  So we managed to save a bit here and there and got less behind (but we still had a ways to go to actually start getting ahead. Look for a future post on this!)

After diligently keeping costs low for about a year and a half, I listened to a podcast that talked about the importance of being aware of opportunities that we are presented with everyday to connect with other people.

It highlighted the importance of noticing moments of potential connection that can pass without a second thought, like travelling in an elevator with someone else, walking quickly to one’s office space past colleagues, or standing at the bus stop with others.  At the end of the episode there was a call to action – to try and notice these moments and then actively use them to connect with others.

So I started to do exactly that.

Shifting to Prioritizing Connection in my Daily Life

I started speaking to people in the elevator on the trip up the 30th floor where my office was located.  I remember one particular elevator ride where I had a great conversation with a man, who was a doctor and had such an interesting story.  The conversation filled me up with positive energy and I could tell it did for him too because as he left the elevator he was smiling from ear to ear!

I would chat with people waiting for the bus with me and, at times, we would realize that our children went to the same school.

I made sure to stop and say hi to every single one of my colleagues on the way to my office each morning, and started looking forward to those short conversations each day.

Most importantly, I made a rule that I would say “yes” if anyone asked me if I wanted to grab a coffee or lunch with them.  This was a big decision given that we, as a family, were focused on not spending money.

I realized, however, that my rules about not spending money had unanticipated consequences.  These rules were negatively impacting my ability to create connections with others. If I said no to going for coffee or lunch enough times people would stop asking me. (Check out this post, which talks about rules that I have created that do serve me!)

And you know what?

After I decided to say yes to coffee and lunches, I realized just how much I had been missing out on.  Once a week or so, I would have an amazing opportunity to spend time with a friend or colleague that enabled me to more deeply connect with them.  Here and there I also started going for a walk and talk with a friend – this didn’t cost any money and had huge benefits – connection, better health and the kind of deep, belly laughter that you can only get with a good friend (thanks for the laughs, Margaret!).

Saying yes to these opportunities to connect also filled an important need in my life – my need for social connection.  At that time, I was experiencing fatigue and my routine consisted of going to work, going home for dinner, going to bed with the kids and getting up the next morning to repeat that routine.  I really didn’t have the energy to do anything after work hours so arranging for dinners or evenings out with friends was out of the question.

Now, opportunities for connecting over lunch or coffee with friends have become an important part of my weekly routine and meet my own need for maintaining strong community and social relationships with friends.

When I made that deliberate decision to prioritize connection and spend a bit of money, I also shifted my mindset from scarcity to abundance (for a great book on this topic, check out The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist or watch Oprah’s conversation with Lynne Twist here).  Within just a few months of that decision, I started a side business, finished my PhD and then got my dream job, which included a significant increase in salary.  None of these things are coincidental.  I opened myself up to connection and abundance and, as a result, opportunities for both of those things presented themselves in my life.

So think about how you might prioritize connection in your own life – it could be committing to a weekly coffee, lunch or walk and talk date with a friend.  It could be making a regular date with your partner or kids.  It could be making disciplined decisions about putting away your phone to connect with others.  Once you prioritize connection, I am sure you’ll see amazing benefits just like I did!

Post a comment below and let us know how you already or intend to prioritize connection in your life!

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