The Giant Impacts of Attending to Tiny Moments of Connection

Every day, we encounter tiny moments that can be used to make deep connections that can powerfully impact other people’s lives.

Several weeks ago, I brought my 7-year-old daughter to her drama class. Although it was her second set of drama classes and she absolutely loved the first set, she was nervous.   She had a different teacher and different students than for the last set of classes. On this particular morning, she asked to bring a stuffy.

I wasn’t sure what the rules were about bringing toys into drama class. Previously, we had been told by her elementary school that it wasn’t appropriate for kids to bring toys to school so I worried that perhaps there was a rule about this at the drama school as well. So I had a talk with my daughter in the car to prepare her for the possibility that she may not be allowed to bring the stuffy into the class with her.

Be Like Heather

When we arrived at the drama school, we waited in the hallway outside her class for her new teacher to fetch the students.

My daughter’s new teacher is an amazing, energetic, friendly woman named Heather. In Heather’s usual style, she greeted each student and their family by taking time to speak with each person, ask a question and really listen to the answer. This often involved Heather bending down to speak eye to eye with each child.

After greeting many of the other parents and students, Heather turned to greet my daughter and me. My daughter was clutching her stuffy tightly and looked nervous, like she might be about to get in trouble.

Heather said: “Wow! Did you bring a stuffy with you?”

My daughter nodded shyly.

Heather continued: “I’m so glad you did because I forgot the mascot that I normally bring to our class. Do you think maybe your stuffy could be our mascot today? We could sit your stuffy right in the middle of our circle to help us in our drama class. Would that work?”

My daughter’s expression turned from nervousness to relief. Her face broke into a huge smile and she nodded.

Then Heather turned to the rest of the students and asked: “Does anyone else have any toys or stuffies that can help us during our class? I forgot my mascot today so I could really use your help.”

The students entered the class all holding up the new class mascots amid excited chatter. It was clear that every student was so excited to get started in drama class that day!

As I watched this powerful exchange, I felt so grateful to have been present to witness that magical moment. I was amazed at the care and choices Heather had made to affirm my daughter in her moment of nervousness. I am also amazed that for Heather these tiny moments are just a regular part of how she interacts with the students she teaches.

It could have turned out very differently. Had Heather made a different choice in the moment as a teacher – a giant in my daughter and the other children’s eyes – it could have created disappointment, nervousness and a lack of excitement to go back for these classes every week.

My point is not that teachers should always allow toys in class.

Rather, my point is that every day we are faced with moments where we can make choices to affirm or to reject. Every day we are faced with moments where we can choose to connect or create distance between us and other people.

This is especially true for adults interacting with the little people in our lives, as parents, as teachers, as aunties, uncles, grandparents or as coaches. We can choose affirmation and connection with the children in our lives OR we can dismiss and reject them.

Connection by Garbage Truck

I have a good friend, Sara, whose 2-year-old son loves garbage trucks. So on garbage day, they spend time as a family walking along the street behind the garbage truck. Their son is so excited about this every week.

For them, it isn’t first choice as a family activity because as my friend observes, it is very smelly and it takes a long time (oh and I think it bears repeating that it is very smelly?!?).

But in Sara’s words: “It’s all worth it to see the look of joy on his face! He loves garbage trucks!” Through their weekly garbage truck excursion, Sara and her husband affirm their son’s interests. They are showing him that they care about what he cares about – garbage trucks and all!

Choose Connection in All Your Relationships

And guess what? Attending to tiny daily moments of connection will deepen all your relationships.

Importantly, in addition to deepening connection with children, this lesson also applies to our interactions with the adults in our lives. In every interaction with our partners, our in-laws, our colleagues, our friends, we’re faced with a choice: we can choose to connect or reject.

Sometimes these are just fleeting moments that make up part of our day – moments so small and temporary that we hardly take notice of them. But these tiny, fleeting moments can have a huge impact on people’s lives. These tiny, seemingly insignificant moments can add up over a person’s lifetime to create a mountain of positive experiences centered on connection OR they can pile up into the opposite – a mountain of experiences of disconnection and isolation.

So as I walk through this world, I’m going to remain aware of my power as a giant in other’s people’s lives. I will continue to work on my ability to attend to the tiny moments of connection that present themselves throughout each day and hold these moments carefully and gently in my hands.

I’ll remember to choose connection and affirmation so that bit by bit, just like Heather, I can make this world and people’s experiences in it just a tiny bit better.

If you intentionally looked for these tiny, powerful moments and acted on them with connection in mind, how much more of a positive impact could you bring to the world?

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