Connecting and Re-connecting with Neighbours

The COVID-19 pandemic can be overwhelming. There are people we love who are battling the virus, some of them aren’t making it.  People we love are putting themselves in higher risk circumstances providing essential services. We are trying to keep up with the constantly updated advice from medical professionals. If you follow the news headlines, they tend more towards bad news than good news.

At the same time, though, these circumstances create new and different opportunities for social connections.

In this series on Emerging Trends for Social Connection (in a pandemic), I’ll explore four trends:

1. Connecting and Re-connecting with Neighbours
2. Caremongering
3. Everyday heroes
4. Virtual Connections

Connecting, and Re-connecting with Neighbours

Previously, I shared my observations about how physical distancing may actually be bringing us closer.  And actually, I find myself connecting and reconnecting with neighbours.

Won’t you be my Neighbour?

When we were growing up, we lived on a dead-end street with a cul-de-sac, and it was a very tight-knit neighbourhood. We had great neighbours all around us. On one side, the Lebans family also had four children who were older than we were. Mr. Lebans and my Dad used to do all kinds of household activities together: build fences, gardening projects, paint. Mrs. Lebans and my Mum were also good friends, trading stories and advice on raising four kids. They were the kind of neighbours you could count on. When my brother needed to go to the hospital for stitches and my Dad was not at home, Mr. Lebans was our emergency driver.

On the other side were the Quans and then the Knapfls. Both families had kids our age that we used to play with. And across the street, were the Coverts where I met my childhood BFF, Alison. Back in our childhood, we went out on the street to play with all the kids in the neighbourhood. We would be out all day and well into the evening, and everyone knew everyone.

Neighbours in 2020

Fast forward to today, and we don’t have quite the same tight-knit neighbourhood feel. This is partly because we are a more cautious culture now, always aware of stranger danger for our kids. Even though today, we live on a dead-end street, with a cul-de-sac, and all of the neighbours are friendly with each other, we are not as close-knit as our family was with our childhood neighbours.

Re-connecting with Neighbours

One of the benefits of the #stayhome regime has been getting to know my neighbours much better. The weather has been quite lovely in Vancouver for the past few weeks, and it’s been great to get outside in the sunshine.

With social distancing, the recreation programs and facilities are closed, and people are finding new or different ways to stay active. My 13 year-old neighbour has been playing by herself on our basketball hoop. She’s a lovely person; she came to ask us if it would be okay to play on the hoop, and she’s really been enjoying it. It’s also created space and time to chat with her, and sometimes her mom, from a physical distance, and catch-up on what’s happening. Her mom works at the Vancouver airport and was sharing that it’s very empty – no one is traveling – and she feels so fortunate to still be employed at this terrible time.

Another set of neighbours have three little boys – a six, a five and a two year-old. They are so lucky to have a backyard they can play in. We’ve been saying hi to their family over their hedge, from a safe physical distance, whenever we are out walking and they are out playing. With the parents we’ve been exchanging gardening tips. The boys like to show off their latest tricks, be it turning on the sprinkler when their parents aren’t looking, climbing trees, kicking the soccer ball or hitting a baseball. Having the opportunity to show off their talents is something we all get a kick out of.

New Connections with Neighbours

When we walk around the corner, I sometimes run into a colleague, Jenna, who lives just a block or so from me. While I do talk with Jenna and Julie T, another colleague and neighbour on work conference calls regularly, when we ran into each other, Jenna and I were thinking it would be fun to get our coffees or teas or glasses of wine, and sit in lawn chairs at the park (six feet apart of course!) to have a social visit with each other.

Walking through the park the other day, I saw four adults with their cars parked in the parking lot, they each sat in a lawn chair and were visiting, six feet apart from each other. Another time, I saw three teenaged friends each in their own car in the parking lot. They had the trunk or back hatch of their cars open and they were sitting in the back and chatting with each other from a safe distance. Maybe this is the new pandemic tail gating party?!

If I happen to be out walking at 7pm, I see and hear neighbours come out on their porches or on the sidewalks and bang their pots and pans together to show support for all the essential workers helping us to #flattenthecurve. I clap my hands and cheer as I walk around to share in the heart-warming show of support.

Increasing Neighbourly Connections

We have been doing a good job of following the guidelines to #flattenthecurve associated with COVID-19. And our neighbourly connections have really been enabled by the instructions to:

• #stayhome as much as possible,
• keep a safe #socialdistance or #physicaldistance and,
• #washyourhands of course.

Following the guideline to #stayhome is creating the opportunity to connect or reconnect with neighbours in new and different ways.

When I look for the silver lining, I find lots of things to be grateful for. I have a new appreciation for our beautiful parks and our neighbours’ gardening skills. I find myself more aware of and present to everyday beauty. I’m really enjoying the small acts of kindness that all the people I see around my neighbourhood demonstrate when we are carefully sharing our common spaces, from a safe physical distance.

How has the #stayhome dynamic changed your experience with your neighbours? What do you notice yourself doing that you may not have done before?

We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below. 

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